I SAW THE RED FLAG I JUST WANTED THE FULL STORY TEE

HE WASN’T THE PLOT TWIST HE WAS THE WHOLE PROBLEM TEE

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM CONGRATULATIONS TEE

I HAD A PLAN THEN LIFE READ IT TEE

I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO FOCUS THEN PICKED IT UP TO CHECK IF I WAS FOCUSED TEE

I DON’T HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN I HAVE ATTENTION SAMPLES TEE

I’M NOT CHAOTIC I’M JUST VERY COMMITTED TO PLOT TWISTS TEE

I’LL DO IT LATER LATER AND I HAVE AN AGREEMENT TEE

MEN ARE LIKE WIFI PRESENT BUT NEVER CONNECTED TEE

MY TIME IS NOT REFUNDABLE TEE

HE’S NOT COMPLICATED HE’S A RED FLAG WITH GOOD LIGHTING TEE

SHE’S NOT MAD SHE JUST HASN’T BEEN TO SEPHORA

I DIDN’T INTERRUPT I JUST WAITED FOR THE NONSENSE TO FINISH TEE

I SAW “ARE YOU FREE?” AND IMMEDIATELY BECAME BUSY TEE

I’M NOT CANCELING I’M CORRECTING MY PREVIOUS DECISION TEE

I SAID “I’LL THINK ABOUT IT” I HAD ALREADY DECIDED TEE

I’M NOT BAD AT REPLYING I’M BAD AT PRETENDING I CARE TEE

I’M NOT LATE I WAS RECONSIDERING COMING TEE

I’M NOT IGNORING THE DRAMA I’M JUST REFUSING THE AUDITION TEE

I GIVE PEOPLE ROOM TO BE THEMSELVES SOMETIMES THEY USE ALL OF IT TEE

I USED TO GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT EXPENSIVE HABIT TEE

I LOVE GIVING PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT ONCE TEE

THEY KEEP PERFORMING FOR MY ATTENTION I NEVER BOUGHT A TICKET TEE